Monday, June 14, 2004

"When I Was 17 I Drank Some Very Good Beer..."

That title's from a song that Homer sings one time on the Simpsons. I have heard a wide variety of opinions recently about the issue of Christians drinking alcohol. I'm not entirely sure where I stand on every aspect of this issue, so I thought I would start by noting how different Christians I know or have known have approached the issue. As a disclaimer, I am not judging any of these approaches. I just want to list off the some of the approaches that I've seen.

I was just reading Aleah's latest post about camping with friends after her high school prom and she mentioned that another group of campers got kicked out of the camp site for drinking and smoking. Friends at her camp site were drinking, though she did not participate.

I know three Christian guys that are permitted and/or encouraged to drink by their families before and/or after the age of 19. I know some people that do not mind sharing in one or two drinks with friends, either in a bar or elsewhere. I know some that offer to be designated drivers so their their friends will not drive under the influence, as Natalie has done. I have had some Christian friends that were fairly heavily into the bar scene, sometimes/often becoming drunk.

I have some friends that used to drink and no longer do so because they were 'scared straight,' like Natalie was. I have some friends that will neither drink nor hang out with friends when they are drinking.

Myself, the only drink I remember taking was for a champagne toast for the 25th wedding anniversary for mes grandparents. I had classmates back in high school that offered to take me out drinking when I hit 19. I agreed to go the bar with them but not to drink alcohol, but of course we never did since they were mostly just mocking me. Generally speaking I try not hang out with friends if they are drinking, but I have done so on occasion when a friend had a drink with a meal. Most of my friends do not drink so it's not an issue. Much of my extended family members drink at family gatherings, so that's been fairly normal for me while growing up. Besides all of that, I've had some experience with alcoholics and it grieves me to see how it effects families.

So that's a sample of the wide array of ways that Christians approach the issue of drinking. There are actually a few more, since I haven't mentioned those that are passionately against drinking alcohol and whatnot.

My main question for this post is not whether it is a sin to drink alcohol or not. I'm not going to condemn Jesus for drinking wine, after all. My question is whether it's useful to hang out with friends that drink alcohol if you're a Christian. What's the point? Is it effective in building or maintaining friendships? Does it help our witness to the world about God? Does it enhance our Christian reputation amongst non-Christians?

To be clear, I've heard arguments both for and against the ideas of a) hanging out with non-Christians as they drink but not participating and b) acting as a designated driver once friends are drunk. There are numerous reasons both for and against such practices. These days, though, I'm becoming more practical about such "theological" issues.

In short, show me it works in real life. Don't tell me it could help us witness to non-Christians, show me examples in which someone gave their heart to God and pointed back to hanging out in the bar as a key time for them. Show me how someone was impressed enough with a Christian acting as a designated driver that they asked meaningful questions about Christianity that led to some change in their life. Show me how hanging out in a bar was more effective than hanging out in someone's house watching a hockey game, or an non-drinking alternative like that.

On a practical level, I have a hard time accepting that an evening in the bar or at a drinking party with friends is useful to God or to ourselves in any way. I've heard a lot of people say that they do it, but I have yet to hear tangible results of people becoming Christians. As I said, I'm not entirely sure where I stand on this issue, but I'm not going to accept the supposed benefits of 'drinking ministry' without evidence to back it up. (As a disclaimer, I am not insisting that the number of people converted is the only way to assess this issue. Yes, people may be impacted in ways that are revealed years later. However, zero conversions is equally fanciful as evidence.)

Besides that, I have only one other example of someone that tried to use drinking as a way to evangelise. My parents have lived in South Korea teaching English for the past few years. If you think drinking in Canada or the United States is socially important, wait until you get there. Generally speaking, the men tend to hang out a lot together, separate from the women. In doing so, they tend to smoke cigarettes and drink alcohol. It is normally expected that everyone in a group has at least one drink, even if it's just a business dinner.

My dad sometimes chose to have a single alcoholic drink when hanging out with Korea friends or co-workers. Just one drink, but he hopeed that it would enough to show he was their friend and that he didn't judge them. My dad even preached a sermon at my church during his first vacation back in Canada and he included this practice as an example of practical evangelism-by-friendship.

As it happened, just before he came back for that vacation he had a party with Korea co-workers as they wished him well on his trip and said goodbye. (I think he and my mom were transferring to another school after his vacation was over.) With all of the toasts being offered, my dad agreed to have a second glass of alcohol. As soon as he ordered a second glass, his Korea boss from his school immediately got excited and started repeating some Korean phrase. My dad wasn't really sure what he was saying, but he definitely got a good reaction out of him.

On the plane ride back to Canada, my dad was sitting beside another man who happened to teach English in Korea as well. During the course of the conversation my dad related the above experience and the other teacher explained what had happened. Koreans have a saying that is roughly translated as "Two drinks, friend!" This is the phrase that my dad's boss was excitedly repeating. After a full year with these co-workers and friends, my dad accidentally stumbled across a social barier that changed how his friendship was viewed by the other Koreans. He had become a real friend, by virtue of being comfortable enough to drink two drinks with them. Hence the reason that he included that story in his guest sermon at our church during his vacation.

An interesting thing happened to my dad in his next year in South Korea. Armed with this new knowledge of that two drinks represents friendship, he proceeded to test this new approach when he visited his second school and met new Korean people there. (I assume that he didn't drink regularly, nor drank often nor in large quantities.) He eventually came to the conclusion that, regardless of the two-drink line, he simply wasn't finding opportunities to speak to others about Christ. In fact, he found more such opportunities in the normal conversations he had with his students while teaching them English.

A Summary
Many Christians that I know approach the issue of drinking and/or accompanying friends that are drinking in many different ways. I've heard the reasons, both for and against different areas. I want to know what you all have found in terms of real-life results. As I mentioned above, Natalie has come to some conclusions in her own life. Help me re-examine how I approach these issues myself. Thank you.

18 comments:

Aleah said...

I'm not quite sure where I stand on this issue either. I don't think it's right, according to the Bible, to get drunk and stuff, but just having a couple drinks doesn't seem so bad. My parents used to drink a couple years ago, but once my mom became a serious worship leader, she felt she had to stop because of controversy on the subject and she didn't want to cause any problems within this issue. All of my family drinks and I've been around alcohol all my life. My grandpa would even get drunk around us, so it never seemed like a big deal.

About not drinking around friends, it's very difficult to do, as I've learned several times. In fact, one of my other Christian friends was at the camping thing too, and she had never drank before, but then she was offered one and she took it without question and by the end of the night, she wasn't drunk, but she was tipsy. Everyone was like, "oh I never thought you would do that. Good job!" I was just like, is this what you have to do to be accepted now? (No, this story is not about me).

Another story though, a different Christian friend of mine had been invited to a friend's house and it was going to be all innocent, but then the three of them ended up smoking weed. Everyone was shocked when they found out later that week because no one would ever expect this person to do something like that. They were all like, "I thought you were a Christian." I was kinda like, well people really do look for faults in Christians. This person continued to drink and smoke weed a few times during the next year. But then this person abstained from these activities for a whole year and things were looking good. But then, they also came to the camping thing and they said they had no intentions of drinking, but then this person was offered one and took it and ended up being very drunk by the end of the night. So, being in that situation did not help them at all. I felt bad for this person because they were really trying to keep "clean" I guess you could say, but at the time this person was offered a drink, there was no one else there who wasn't drinking, and they felt kind of left out I guess.

So my view on this, is that if you're going to be in a situation where everyone else is drinking, then you better know for sure that you can refrain from drinking yourself, otherwise you'll put yourself in a bad position that will not help your walk with God at all.

Oooo this is long. I'm sorry, but that's my view. Good post Jamie!

Titus said...

For another opinion on this topic, check out
www.titusferguson.tk

Amanda said...

Oh Jamie how you have just opened pandoras box!

I believe that drinking is not a sin. It's when you are not responsible while drinking that sinful behaviour can happen. One does have to be careful while drinking as it can lead to many bad things. I think that if done responsibly alcohol can be enjoyed. I personally drink for the taste and because I enjoy the feeling of being 'tipsy' occasionally. But beyond that I have to say that I don't drink to get drunk and I am very careful while I drink (D.D.'s and I watch out for friends). I just want to say that I think that a good pint of beer at an Irish pub with a few friends and a bit of dancing to an Irish jig is perfectly alright.

It can be a fine line for some who drink to know when they have had enough. I guess if you look at the big picture we all should just avoid alcohol to prevent anyone from getting into trouble. But I think that's perhaps a bit too extreme.

As for witnessing at the bar I think it's wonderful! What better bar conversation could you ask for. Just use any sort of theological question. Did Adam have a belly button? Can God make a rock so heavy that even He couldn't lift it? Is the end of the world really coming soon?

Cheers! (Drinking a mike's hard lemonade at camp while lounging in the sun!)

Jamie A. Grant said...

Thanks for the feedback so far everybody. To reiterate, I'm not asking whether drinking alcohol is wrong. As I said, Jesus drank wine.

My questions is, does hanging hanging out with people as they drink serve a practical purpose beyond our own enjoyment? I've heard people say both yes and no in answer to that question, so I'm looking for evidence to back up either of those opinions.

Jamie A. Grant said...

Very wise answer, Laura Mai. Honestly, I'm in awe.

Still, I've yet to speak to anyone that ever led anyone to God by hanging out with them as they drink alcohol.

Amanda said...

Yes I think that one can drink while witnessing. I think that sometimes it puts people off to hear Christians shouting the word of God at them and making them feel like sinners. If it's not a sin to drink then why not try to 'fit it'. Jamie mentioned this a few blogs ago about how Jesus went into all sorts of places to do God's work. When in Rome...

To me it's also a sin for a Christian to gloat about their purity. After all nobody's perfect (except Jesus).

Sometimes people just need company and want it in their own environment - the bar or coffee shop or wherever instead of at the alter. I think that a Christian who can sit down with you and have a pint and lend a listening ear to a friend in need is truely doing something good.

My only request to everyone out there is to please please please drink responsibly. Take care of yourself and your buddies.

Amanda said...

Just a note on Laura's comment about wanting or needing alcohol to witness. It's not that one would need or want alcohol it's just that it's part of fitting in and making the person you are talking to feel comfortable. One also of course always needs God. It's true that alcohol does make a person relaxed and maybe even more chatty and I think that's a good side effect - if one doesn't get dependent on alcohol. If you make a person feel comfortable with you then the next time maybe you can go for a coffee and they will feel able to open up and talk with ease (without alcohol).

Jamie A. Grant said...

Thank you for your comments, Amanda. I have heard people say that it's possible to witness to a friend while their friend is drinking. I have heard people say the opposite.

My problem is that both opinions only get me so far. I'm more interested if anyone had success in witnessing to someone in this manner in real life.

Mike said...

Maybe drinking alcohol in moderation is a completely trivial issue and really isn't worth this much thought.

Jamie A. Grant said...

Yes, you may be correct, Mike. Still, I'm not getting any answers regarding my original question.

Amanda said...

I agree with Mike, Alcohol in moderation is no big deal. And we seem to all agree on this so let's move on.

I don't have a specific example for Jamie, but I will just say that having a good open conversation with a person is important. Even if you don't mention God just by being with someone and listening you are still witnessing. And if you do it at the bar or in your backyard bbq over a few beers that's okay.

Mike said...

It's trivial because we *all* use mood altering substances *all the time*. There's no reason to think of moderate alcohol use as being any different from chocolate or caffine -- they both produce changes in mood and body chemistry.

So why don't you have a huge long post talking about witnessing opportunities with caffine?

Aleah said...

Haha.

Titus said...

Or pot

Jamie A. Grant said...

Ah, I see, Mike. I thought your first post addressed the other point. Witnessing may indeed be equally effective whether it is with caffeine or with alcohol. I have said that there are opinions either way. Therefore my question is, has someone tested this in real life?

I only know two people that have related their personal experience so far, as it applies to witnessing.
a) My dad, who eventually concluded that it was ineffective.
b) Natalie, who eventually decided to walk away from this approach.

I am reviewing my own position (or lack thereof), but I don't want to base my decision on one of ten different opinions. I ask for fact and experience, and I thank you for any you may relate here.

Aleah said...

Yeah, I'm not exactly supposed to have an experience with this kinda stuff, therefore, I shouldn't write one, now should I? ;) Hehe.

Amanda said...

I think I'm gonna give up on this one.
Cheers!

Abe said...

Sorry to come in late on this one, no Internet in Montreal...

I think a large factor here is socialization, which comes out in Jamie's story about his parents, the life of Jesus and my experience in a European influenced Montreal. In a lot of cultures alcohol (usually wine) is a natural part of most dinners. There's no sense of taboo about it and often no laws about it. Hence the Bible warns about drunkness but doesn't forbid alcohol, because in the Middle Eastern culture of the time that would be like forbidding bread. Historically, some cultures have used beer as their primary beverage.

In our culture the social scene is a bit different. The club/bar and party scenes definitely make things different. I had a lot of experience there throughout university and they're definitley a dangerous place to be. I can only suggest that Christians be very, very careful if they choose to enter this scene. However, as I reach a new phase of my life the social settings have changed. Going out to dinner, having people over to chill on my deck and going to a pub for wings and a game is very different. There's no pressure, no taboo on drinking and no general desire to get loaded. This means that people can have a drink if they want, or don't have to if they don't want...and it's basically a null issue as it should be.

This has led to me having two witnessing opportunities recently while alcohol was being consumed. The first was with a guy from New Zealand that we had over for dinner with Melissa's friend Missy. We had two beers with dinner and then sat in the living room and discussed religion, Christianity and theology. It was the most intense witnessing experience I've had in a while as this guy was searching hard. The other was over my week in Montreal with a co-worker. We both had a shot of whiskey in a warm beverage of our choice, and again started talking religion. I was able to share with him how not all Christians are finger pointing, stone throwing "conservatives".

So, as Mike said, alcohol should basically be a non-issue in the social settings that most of us find ourselves in. However, if you're still in the club and mass party/kegger scene then be wary.