Religion Ain't What It Used To Be

I'm a Christian but that ain't what it used to be. My beliefs have changed quite a bit in the past two or three years...

*cue time travel montage*

I've been a Christian since I was a wee young 'un. I have vague memories of praying beside my bed by myself as a 4 or 5 year old boy, asking Jesus to forgive my sins and come into my heart. Easy as that. It was a natural part of life growing up in a Christian family. (To be specific, within the Pentecostal denomination of Protestant Christianity.)

I went to Braeside Christian camp as a kid every summer with my family, and I regularly went to Silver Birches Christian camp as a teenager. These camps usually involved group activities and games, and some sort of elongated church service in the morning and evening. It was at Braeside camp that I experienced baptism of the Holy Spirit, complete with evidence of tongues. Later on at Silver Birches, I experienced the phenomenon of laughing uncontrollably in the spirit. Somewhere along the way before I was a teenager, I also chose to get baptized in water when we attended a church in Vineland, ON.

My parents were always heavily involved in church ministry, usually focused on children and youth. Later on, around the time I was ten years old, my dad decided to ditch his plush job with GM and go to Bible College to become a full-time pastor. That allowed me to graduate from goody-two-shoes church boy to good-two-shoes PK (Pastor's Kid) but weekly life didn't change too much.

Every year from the time I was born until I was 29 years old, I regularly spent 2-3 days each week at church. In the early years, I was attending various childrens' programs or simply waiting for hours while my parents chatted with friends after church. During my teens, I was always involved in various youth group events. By my twenties, my parents and siblings were scattered across the globe while I become even more heavily involved with music ministry, cell groups and leading youth groups.

I've been involved in church as a vocalist since I was a young teenager, singing either bass or tenor. I sang backup vocals for Sunday services and I've been a member of various choirs - even recording CDs at two churches. I also took over as worship leader in both home and church settings, handling everything from pre-planning to the cues for the band. Eventually, I added some rudimentary piano skills so that I could both play and sing in smaller groups. I also became fairly proficient as a percussionist, playing instruments like congas, bongos, shakers and tambourines.

I wasn't shy about my spiritual faith or my status as a Christian. I frequently debated with people in person or online about any number of God-related topics. I taught both adults and youth in over a dozen different settings. I published various articles in the local newspaper and the school newspaper.

In short, I wasn't just a guy that accepted what I was taught. No, I was the guy that was doing the teaching. I simply didn't submit to the particular version of Christianity that my parents believed, I was the one that promoted it.

I'm born and bred this way. And as an adult and on my own two feet, I chose to continue on this path. I became even more ingrained in it, if anything. I've always been very certain of my faith, and very certain of my particular brand of theology.

*fade from montage to present day*

When I hit the ripe old age of 29, various factors conspired to show me different parts of Christianity in a new light. Little by little, different pieces of my theology came into question and fell apart. It was like a game of jenga, taking one stick out and then another stick out, until the whole thing came toppling down.

Well, not the whole thing. I still believe in God and I still consider myself a devout Christian. It's just that I have modified or entirely scrapped different parts of my spiritual beliefs.

I know other people that have had similar experiences, and some of those people opted to dismiss the whole story. God and Jesus, the devil, heaven and hell, spirituality, souls, the Bible... If a person won't accept some parts of it, then why accept any of it?

As one example, there's a fascinating video series on YouTube by a guy that was a Christian just like me. He explains how he gradually lost his faith, bit by bit. "Deconversion," he called it. Common to other stories I've heard, a big part of this process came through his post-secondary university experience.

Some of this guy's discarded beliefs would have struck me as silly even as a kid. Even so, his video series is visually and mentally stimulating. Here you go...
Deconversion: Why I am no longer a Christian
(Note: As recommended to me by Nathan Hatton. )

To sum up, I still look back very fondly on my years in church. I just don't buy into much of what Christian religion is selling these days. More to the point, I don't buy what *I* was selling. In my next post, I'll try to summarize how my ideas have changed over the past two or three years...

Update: Part II is here and Part III is here.