Our Engagement

As Cam wrote about here, we recently became engaged and I gave Cam the engagement ring on September 10th, 2007. Cam took the two pictures above and below herself. The ring itself is a platinum band with a knife-edge cut and the diamond is a brilliant one. It compliments Cam's hand perfectly and I am very happy that I was able to select this ring with her help. This ring is the promise of our future together and I can hardly wait until we are married... I love this woman!




On Saturday September 20, 2007, my parents hosted a Bonfire & BBQ at our home to celebrate our engagement. We had about fifty people arrive at different times in the evening, some of whom were meeting Cam for the first time. My parents organized everything, my brother cooked up the succulent meat and Cam's mother Kim prepared Vietnamese springrolls from scratch. Everyone loved the food and since there were so many people from so many different social circles, there were plenty of new faces to see and all kinds of interesting conversations.

(Note: Most likely, Cam and I will host our own engagement party during the winter/spring. This was much more of a spur-of-the-moment thing that was planned the previous weekend.)


Later on in the evening, we relocated from the deck and inside the house to the bonfire in the lower field. The last time we did this, we had a lower deck on our house and the steep walk down the hill to the bonfire was somewhat treacherous. However, my parents tore out that bottom porch a couple of weeks ago and built a really long staircase, so the walk down was much more pleasant this time around.


Many thanks to everyone that came last night. The congratulations and card and gifts were much appreciated. It was a lot of fun for me to get the chance to see everyone and let you share in our happiness. And for more pictures, please see the next blog post.

P.S. Have I mentioned how much I love Cam?

Bring The Ring: Engagement Party

Here are some additional pictures from the engagement party that my parents hosted on Saturday September 29, 2007. For more details, please see this blog post.

Family Values

A question was raised recently that I thought was rather interesting. What were your family values when you were growing up? That's not referring to what you think is important or the moral code you live by. It means the key things that were emphasized on a regular basis, that were backed up in both word and action, those things that defined your family.

As it happens, some of these family values may not be positive things. Or, your family might have preached some things that you straight up disagree with now. Even so, what were the central themes of your family life when you were a kid? Or you for your immediate family now?

I was trying to think of how I would answer that for my family. There's a lot of great things, and some not so great things, that I picked up along the way. Let me list the biggest things that I can see...

1. Family Time
Every Sunday Night we used to have movie night back in Wawa. That was always great. Throw in board games, Jays baseball when we were really young, road trips to Florida... Yeah, family night was always a regular feature and it was always required for both of my parents and we three kids. Good times.

2. Church
Personal faith in God, sure. However, the real focus was on church and lots of it. Every week, multiple times a week, for extended periods of time, for as long as I can remember. Early to arrive, late to leave. Usually last to leave, actually, whether that was here in London or back in Wawa or back in Peterborough or back in Thorold before that. We're talking decades of regular and frequent attendance, involved in everything from Sunday school to youth to music to sports stuff. I enjoyed it all along but these days... Let's just say that hindsight makes me question how useful it all was.

3. Big Decisions Are Easy
My family has made several major moves to new cities over the years. Parts of my family have even moved to new countries in recent times. My parents have changed careers drastically a few times, we have changed churches, we've all gone to school, etc. Sometimes these decisions took a while to consider and finalize, and they often came at a steep cost. However, I tend to look at how easily these decisions kicked in so many times. (Granted, part of this perspective is probably due to my childhood naivete.) From the initial start of it all when my parents got engaged after only dating for four weeks, to my parents ditching Canada to teach in Korea after thinking about it for all of a month. Big decisions are easy.

That's my initial list. Anyone else want to offer something about your own families?

One Question

This past week, I was in a group discussing various things and someone asked this common question: "If Jesus was physically here with us, what is the one question that you would ask him?"

I think that our answers to this question reveal a lot about our perspective of God and faith and the focus of our lives. Here's a sample of a few of the group's answers...

"Why? Why do you allow such bad things to happen to people? Why do you allow such bad things to happen to me? Why?"

"How am I doing? Am I good enough? Do I need to fix some stuff? Am I doing enough?"

"Do you love me?"

This discussion is a cliche in Christian circles but I don't think that these are superficial questions. They really reveal our hearts and inner thoughts. These questions really mean a lot to each person that asks. Even if some of them seem simple to answer, the reality of people's personal lives and tragic stories makes these questions deeply consequential. Flippant answers do not resolve the emotion and doubt and pain and confusion that lies within these questions.

What would your one question be?

Lessons From The Office: Part IV

I've come a long way over the years since I graduated from Fanshawe College. As a manager and software designer, I have developed some clear principles that guide my decisions. Some of these lessons were learned the hard way by failing in many ways, but some of these lessons were learned through different kinds of success. While I did learn a lot through other activities like leading small groups and worship teams at church, the majority of my training came from the eight years that I spent with AV-Base Systems. I will be eternally grateful to this company, and to Bert and Helen, for that period in my life.

Allow me to summarize a few more lessons...

Words are powerful, use them wisely.
Ain't just words. Sticks and stones will break my bones...

Focus on strengths, not weaknesses.
Focus on strengths, not weaknesses. Build people up and let them reach their full potential. Don't focus on chiseling away the rough edges or else we'll wear away even the good qualities.

Emotional bank account.
Emotional bank account. Positive reinforcement is necessary. Any teacher can tell you this. If we rarely speak to an employee, and the only time we do it we are negative, that employee will start to run the other way when they see us. And eventually they will run away from the company entirely.

Encouragement and recognition are crucial.
On a superficial level, we all know this. I always had trouble with this myself and I had to learn the hard way, as I discuss in detail in the links above. Beyond that, I also believe that real and tangible recognition is key. Personal compliments are good and public statements are great. However, if everyone knows you're amazing at your job and you never receive a raise, that can say a lot more than words. If everyone comes to you to deal with hard stuff at work but then the newbie that you're training has a starting salary that is more than yours, that means something. And if you're acknowledged as the "senior" something for day-to-day work but your job title does not reflect your role, that's a statement.

Talk to the people that are effected.
Consult with the people that will be effected by our decisions. Discuss the options with the people that have to implement them. Let them have their say and offer their experience and suggestions. Even the very best idea in the world, done for the very best of reasons, will frustrate the employees if we simply announce it by decree 'cause we're the boss.

Experience and expertise are supreme.
Being the boss doesn't mean that we're the best person to make every decision. It doesn't mean that we understand the issues and the big picture better than anyone else. Chances are, we will repeatedly make mistakes if we try to oversee an area that others actually handle on a daily basis. We need to rely on our best people to get the best results.

Learn from history.
High employee turnover rates are the most visible sign of problems, so pay attention to it. Whether people quit or they are fired, that means something. It indicates something about the working environment, the management style, the pay scale, etc. As this article notes, call centres average a 31% turnover rate annually while fast-food joints average a 123% rate. Don't we want to be better than those kinds of places? And most information technology companies probably don't realize that one lost employee can cost them about $34,100.00. Factor in job posting, interviews, training, new computers, newbie mistakes...it all adds up, though it's an invisible number that can be ignored too easily. Ignore history and we're doomed to repeat it.

Managers are the grunt workers.
This idea runs directly against common wisdom. A manager's job is to make the daily work of our employees as easy as possible. Cut through the red tape, deal with the meetings, get rid of the distractions, handle the irate complaints, give them the tools and training they need, etc. If we are not serving our employees then we are ruling over them. And everyone likes a good revolt...

Part I - Meaningful change is hard, meaningless change is easy.
Part II - We're all different. Use that to our advantage.
Part III - Good managers make others better.

Five Things I Didn't Learn In Sunday School

This past year has been a fascinating time for me. Scattered amongst the rubble of changes in my life, I accidentally uncovered nuggets of truth. My perspective as a Christian has been molded and reformed in dozens of new ways and my spiritual life has taken on a very different shape. Here are a few pieces that I have picked up along the way. I assume that even these things will be torn down as I continue on this particular journey...

1. Christian Business
I've encountered several versions of what a "Christian Business" or a "Christian Entrepreneur" should look like, at least five flavours by my count. The idea of merging my faith with my profession always seemed like a lofty ideal and...yeah, pretty much. I'm a lot more cynical about anyone mentioning how God leads business decisions, or how business policies reflect Biblical values, or how a business will be used as a ministry. The most effective Christian businessman that I have known, in terms of reaching people for Christ, doesn't even bother to mix business with faith. Ministry just happens because of who they are, not by professional design. Build a box for faith and watch it falter...

2. God's Plans
Ah, the mysteries of life. It's been a roller coaster ride for me this year, and I have a couple of friends who redefined what that "roller coaster" analogy even means. Things that seemed to be so clearly within God's will fall apart and things that we desperately wish for will fade away. And conversely, dreams that are too good to imagine will come out of nowhere to become reality. Figuring out the theology and logic behind it makes us either confused or hurt, and it doesn't really get us anywhere. Better to go with the flow, in the hands of You Know Who.

3. Legalism & Assumptions
House of Cards, eh? Tithing, Sunday services, paid ministers, church buildings, subtle judgments, spiritual covering, anti-Biblical teaching, etc. So many of my precious ideas about Christianity, the things that I held true for so long and defended with such vigour, were wrong. Not just wrong but even destructive. It's insane to realize how little I still know about any of this God stuff...

2. This Holy Spirit Person
My assumptions about baptism of the Holy Spirit have been shown as cheap trinkets of knowledge. Following the leading of the Holy Spirit daily, looking for him to direct each of my conversations and prayers and actions...it's so foreign to me. And this is coming from the free-flow Spirit-led heart-of-worship guy that I am. What comes so easily to me within the realm of worship music seems so unattainable in my regular life. And yet, with insightful examples and stories from certain key friends, I find that it's something that I really desire. My silly brain just gets in the way a lot...

1. Relationship
My relationship with Cam ("Hi Cam!") has revealed much to me about my relationship with God. The passion and admiration and love that I have for her has become a mirror of my heart with God. To know and love God personally, to have a relationship with him...it's such a common phrase for us modern "anti religion" believers. And compared to this earthly relationship of mine, I realize how hollow and superficial my relationship with God is. And yet I find that it inspires me and makes me yearn for more of God. Amazing.

Everything I know I learned in Sunday School. And everything I am learning is tearing that down. God is tearing me down, piece by piece, and making me into a new kind of person.