After The Day Has Gone

This past Sunday, I was chatting with the worship team at my church during our team breakfast. One of the girls was talking about her plans to go to Australia to attend Bible College there for music ministry. Our youth pastor Blair then related a story about a friend of his that did much the same thing. Upon his return from Bible College and his entrance into the "real world," Blair's friend became disillusioned and within two years he had left church altogether.

Blair said that he had numerous examples of situations like this with other people that he knew from Bible College. I've seen similar effects on people as they return from missionary work, or finish university, or move to a new city, or change to a new church. There does seem to be a fairly common pattern.

I don't know if it's just a depression that kicks in or what. Looking back, I think that I experienced something similar when I first moved to London from Wawa. For my first two years, I hung out almost exclusively with Mike and we didn't do much of anything besides eat pizza, watch movies and play video games. Eventually we both got out of that rut but maybe that time shows the true effect that losing all of my old friends had on me. It's so easy to become reclusive and shut everyone out of our lives. No expectations, no rules, no explanations.

Part of this effect also seems to relate to the fact that we're immersed in a certain kind of culture for so long. With missionary work or something like YWAM, we're always with other Christians and we have frequent prayer and ministry. With university or college, we're surrounded by friends with similar interests and we're lumped together for years at a time. Coming out of those kinds of environments can be quite the culture shock.

More than that, it's easy to become disillusioned when we come out of this idealistic or close-knit group, or come out long periods of running solo. Other places and other people just don't match up to what we had before. People don't seem to be as caring because they care about other things. Churches seem to have the wrong priorities and the wrong leadership. Friends seem to be superficial and family seems to be too intrusive. In response, we shut ourselves down and ditch it all. We no longer attend church, we refuse to see friends, we set up other priorities as excuses.

For me, it's comforting to know that I'm not the only one that has gone through this. It's also quite the cautionary tale, to understand that people I care about may be going through the same kind of thing for whatever reason. Everybody needs somebody sometime...right?

People & Prisons

Congratulations to my boy Shawn on his recent marriage. Shawn was one of my co-workers back in the day. Smart guy, good family man.

Congratulations to Lori! If her child already has a picture on the web at this age then the kid doesn't have much hope of privacy later, eh? Note that in South Korea, the child's age is based on the date of conception, officially nine months before the date of birth. So happy 3-month day to you, kid!

My baseball season ended with a whimper. We forfeited one of our two final games since we only had one of the two required girls at game time. Then we lost the final game of the season badly. Our season went from early May until now and while we were in playoff position for the first three months we fell apart this last month and plumetted down the standings. I may be rather competitive but I think that I kept a good attitude during our free fall and we had fun.

As I mentioned, I visited the Grand Valley Women's Prison in Kitchener this past Sunday with the worship and drama teams from my church. There was the tight security process complete with inspection of all musical gear and a metal detector. Once we were inside, it was fairly normal. Just a big building and we were in a gym like they have in grade schools.

We opened with three rocking songs and then I gave my testimony about purpose in life. Specifically, I talked about how my friendships when I was a teenager were too superficial and how, at the age of 21, I decided that my friendships should mean something. Love should have an effect on both me and my friends and we do need to open up about the real issues in our lives. We followed that with another worship set, a drama and then a short sermon by Pastor Tim. The songs were great and I was really able to get my dance on thanks to the hard gym floor.

Afterwards, we hung out and chatted with the ladies for about forty-five minutes. The one lady I spoke to was forty-two years old and she had a sixteen year old son that she was looking forward to seeing again once she got out. On the whole, the ladies were friendly and not much different then what you would expect from any other setting. A few of them did have some anger issues, swearing revenge for petty offenses and the like, so it was a bit like high school social groups at certain points. In any case, this place was a million times better than the prisons that I visited in Belize years ago.

The CD that I recorded with my church throughout June has been mastered and it's currently in for manufacturing. It's official release date is Labour Day weekend, when my church is having it's usual Sunday service at our eventual new location on Sarnia Road. I did percussion and sang backup tenor vocals on most of the tracks and the parts that I have heard mastered so far were sweet.

Bikes, Baseball & Beyond

Here's a funny article about how people from different places around the world tend to get on their bicycles. Seems in US, people prefer to sit on the bike first and then start to move. Elsewhere, like in China, the correct approach as a skilled rider is to use the bike as a scooter to get some momentum before you jump on. Me, I tend to use the second approach.

Did you hear this story about how NASA lost the video of the original moon landing? They're currently looking for it because they wanted to digitally enhance it and they seem to have misplaced it. More fodder for conspiracy theorists that say it was all faked, eh? And speaking of space, did you hear that Cape Breton in Nove Scotia is building a new private space port?

I'm heading out this coming Sunday to the Grand Valley women's prison in Kitchener. I'm going with the worship team from my church to do some ministry there. I know I've mentioned this before but I missed our last opportunity in the beginning of April and I've been looking forward to this trip ever since then.

I've been playing on the GTA "C" Team this summer in our church baseball league. The top three teams in each division go to the playoffs. Each year, the A and B teams have gone to the playoffs but the C team never has. This year, we maintained third place for the first three months but we have faltered down the stretch in August. In the span of only two weeks, we lost three of four games and dropped from third to fifth. With only two weeks remaining, we still have an outside chance but we sort of feel like the Blue Jays right now. Heh.

I've been pitching most of the year, except for the six weeks that I was out while on crutches. This past Monday, my mom and my distant cousin Chris showed up unexpectedly at my game and my mome got a few action shots of me. Enjoy!

Search for Comfort

Frequently over the past several years, I have met many people that are searching for new churches for many reasons. Generally speaking, the process seems to take a long time to complete. I suggest that our search for the church that God wants us to join is sometimes a search for comfort.

How long does it take us to find a new job, to find a girlfriend/boyfriend, to buy a new house? Is finding a church really that difficult in comparison?

Finding a church is a spiritual matter so it's easy to chalk up our lack of church attendance or indecisiveness to God's vague plans. More often than not, though, people tell me that they're concerned about the social aspects of any prospective church. Too many people, some unfriendly people, too small and too close-knit, etc. I'm not suggesting that these things should not factor into our decision but what did we expect? If we join a new job, move to a new house or join a new extracurricular activity, it will always be somewhat uncomfortable. (Unless you're Tara and you excel at meeting new people.)

A similar problem can arise when a new service is introduced at your church. At Open Door, I know that some people go to the regular Sunday morning service and to the new Saturday evening service in an effort to stay connected with everything. Similar difficulties exist at GTA, which has four weekend services during the school year. If you go to the wrong service, you'll miss all your friends, right?

Granted, I'm coming from a background in which my longest term at any one church was about six years. I've moved to new cities, schools and churches fairly regular throughout my childhood. Hence my catchphrase, "Churches come and churches go." I'm extremely committed and involved in any church I join but hey, if God or life circumstances call me away then that's fine by me and I'll deal with it. (Self-analysis: Perhaps I create an intentional wall to defend my sweet self from pain...Nah.) At one point, it did take me about three months to formally decide on a new church when I left LGT and joined FCCC. I don't doubt that God's timing should and does prevail.

Even so, what are the most important things for us to find? As I discussed with one guy last year, no church is perfect and our goal should not be to find one. Some minor theology might be a little weird, the location might be inconveniant, the music might be only adequate, the pastor might not be the best preacher, etc. It seems to me that finding a place to submit to leadership and contribute in ministry are the two main keys. Is our primary goal to receive something from the church, whether that means teaching, child care or friendships? Or are we the church, looking for people to love and to whom we can minister?

Is our comfort most important? Is the format and environment that crucial? Or should we look at the purpose behind our lives and our search for a church? Pauls says that "I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some." (1 Corinthians 9:22) How we minister and how the church works should be secondary to the crucial goal of reaching people, as individuals and as a church.

Food, Fire & Fun

On Friday evening, Young Adults with Open Door church was a semi-formal held at Shona's house. Most of us came well dressed for the non-cocktail cocktail party. We had the usual worship-prayer-talk-small-group session in the first part of the evening. That was later followed by a full spread of hors d'oevres.

Our usual worship leaders and musicians were not present so I ended up leading an all-percussive worship set. I had brought along my new mini-djembe, in the hopes that we were going to do some worship. With that as the lead instrument, I led most of the song accapellas. At one point, we spent about ten minutes with everyone participating in percussion worship with no singing. Everyone used whatever was available: an extra tambourine, clapping, pots and pans, a metal shelving rack. It was pretty light-hearted to begin with and we had some excellent volume with everyone participating together. After a while, though, individuals started to set their focus on God while they were playing and there were some spontaneous songs and some heart-felt worship, in the midst of all the clatter. Gorgeous.

Saturday was another day of activities with my Little, as usual. I took my cousin Chris and my Little's older brother out for the afternoon as well. We saw the Aerial Angels, which I had heard were part of the Fringe Festival that is ending today. They were situated downtown and they performed bullwhip tricks, flame-swallowing tricks and some high-flying aerial acrobatics. Their performance was well-rehearsed and it was full of terrible jokes, which I loved.

The highlight for us was the flame-swallowing. For one trick, they invited a man from the audience that had a shaved head. They put some oil on his head, lit the top of his head on fire with one torch and lit another torch from his head. As another trick, they put torches in their mouths, breathed in the fumes, removed the torch and slowly breathed out the fumes, keeping a flame going right at the top of their own mouths for several seconds. And finally, all three girls stood in line, lit one torch at the one end and put the fire on the first girl's tongue. She then transferred that fire to the second girl's tongue, who transferred it to the third girl's tongue who lit a final torch on fire with it. Now I really know what "tongues of fire" means in the Bible.

Afterwards, we hit LaserQuest for a triple-play games. There were few people there so it basically the four of us against two regular members. My score varied wildly due to the lack of people but generally I was right behind the two members. Nothing like running around with lasers in the fog to have a good time.

Finally, I have a church meeting today at GTA to officially vote on selling our church in preparation for finally building our new church. They'll show us a scale model of the new site, which will be interesting.

Camp Pics

The young adults from Open Door Christian Fellowship went to Elora Gorge from July 13th to July 16th. It was a lot of fun and I would have mentioned it here before but I just got a hold of a few pictures from that weekend, thanks to Mike Mordas. Andrea organized most of the details and I didn't have to do anything but go along for the ride. I found the whole weekend to be quite relaxing, which I needed.

Does anyone have another stash of digital pictures from that weekend? I would like to get a hold of a few more, if possible. There's also a quick video clip that we saw recently that went around the circle at the campfire while we were playing worship music. Does anyone know who I can ask for a copy of that? Anyway, here are a set of the best pics that I have without any captions...

My distant cousin Christopher is visiting my family for the month of August, fresh from Quebec and almost completely unilingual. The only English that he knows is from school so he's getting immersed this month in the English language and Ontario culture. I loved Elora Gorge and tubing down the river so much that I'm going back there this coming weekend with Chris.

If anyone wants to join us, send me an e-mail or call me. I'm planning on leaving London at around 6:00 pm this coming Friday and coming back early on Sunday. Everyone will bring their own food because I don't want to be responsible for another camping trip. (Heh.) The major event will be tubing on Saturday.

That's all for now. I'm off to watch a quadruple feature at the drive-in tonight with Chris and my siblings.

Assume the Blurst

It's funny how people assume the worst so often. If someone doesn't reply to an e-mail within a few days, we're worried that we did something to offend them. If people do not respond to an invitation to a party, we wonder why nobody wants to hang out with us. If someone is late to an event, we wonder if they care about the other people involved.

In my experience, I find it's more useful to assume the best intentions of my friends and acquaintances. If someone doesn't reply to an e-mail, their e-mail program may have blocked it or they may be out of town. If people do not reply to an invitation to a party, perhaps they did not get the message. If someone is late, perhaps they got stuck in traffic.

In fact, I encountered each of the above situations this past week. And yes, the other people did indeed have only good motivations and circumstances simply got in the way. I find that my life is much less stressful if I assume that my friends do not want to hurt me or ignore me but that they do care about me. People are often surprised when I offer them their excuse for missing out on something before they can even say it. I'm not a mind reader. I just know you're my friend, that's all.

I look at my cup as half full in most situations. I do know some people that are constantly pessimistic and assume their cup is half empty but it seems to me that this approach is rather exhausting and very often incorrect. (For example, T. White. No, wait, that's too obvious. I mean, Tara W.) Our friends do care about us and they aren't out to get us. Sure, genuine problems may arise but we can cross those bridges when we come to them. We don't have to dig trenches just to make a bridge to cross, inventing problems everytime something a little unexpected happens.

"It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times!?! Stupid monkey!"

On the Margins

"Journeying with the marginalized of society, particularly the poor and homeless."

I've had a number of conversations lately about how we, as Christians, need to care for people. Who needs us the most? How do we care for others and show them our love? How are we ignoring them now? How do we develop real relationships with them? How should we suffer and sacrifice? What kind of effect will we have on others, on ourselves and for God?

Thanks in largest part to Abe, I've been walking down this road and growing in these matters for several years now and these questions are becoming increasingly important to me. However, I'm not a big fan of good ideas that merely exist in theory. I prefer to see how the rubber meets the road. Sure, we need to care for those in need but how do we do it in real life?

I have a list of ways that people can and are using to do just this.

• Nurse, possibly for a crisis centre. (Abe)
• Social Worker (Richard, E*)
• Lawyer
• Teacher, possibly for special education. (My mom, my sister)
• Counselour (Natalie Coles' goal.)
• Pastor (My dad, Leonard Terry)
• Missionary (My brother)
• Church Soup Kitchen (Previous Post: New Song Church)
• Communal Living (Dan's goal)
• Charities (Me with Big Brothers)
• Christian Business Owner
• Work for Non-Profits Organizations

It's easy enough to do most of these things without having any love for or impact on the people that live on the margins, but all of these things can be done for that very purpose. Some of these options have different effects on our personal lives, like bringing our families to foreign countries or becoming wealthy through business, but the same heart can speak through each role.

I was discussing this with Abe last week and he challenged me because it's easy to think that the best choice for me is the best choice for everyone. The plans that I have in my life will not work for everyone else, although my plan may work for a few people. Intentionally helping people through big business requires very different commitment, skill sets and resources than does becoming a social worker. And I remember that Richard spent an awfully long time working for very little in order to get into his chosen field of work and that would not be feasible for many other people.

The key isn't in the methods that we each use, though we probably do need to be creative and make a conscious effort in this regard. The key is that our hearts must follow after Jesus and join in a real way with others. We can come together, each in our own calling, and we can transform lives.