Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Spiritual Life Support

Currently, I'm a participant in three different churches.

As a formal member of Glad Tidings Assembly, I was involved in cell group with the church for three years. I play percussion and sing backup vocals for the worship team, several times a month. I'm also an annual member of the Christmas Choir and I have been involved in a few other ministries.

I also attend Open Door Christian Fellowship. I am involved with the Young Adults group there since GTA has little for me in that regard. I've been doing that for two and a half years now, and last year I was co-leader of the worship for YA as well.

Finally, I have recently started attending Saturday evening services at North Park Community Church. That's because of my fiance, and I go to Alpha with her here as well.

So I'm a member of three churches at the moment, and I'm fairly busy with each one. Come January, I am seriously considering cutting back and simply joining my fiance Cam at North Park for Saturday evening services and not doing anything else at all, as far as ministry goes. I don't know if I can actually last for very long without being involved with a music team at church but that's what I am considering right now.

You know what I am thinking about, though? I'm wondering what my spiritual life will be like at that point. As it now stands, I don't do enough daily Bible reading or prayer or private worship for my liking. Once I ditch all of these church activities, I wonder if I'll be hit with the sudden shock of how dependant my spiritual health is on my official church programs.

Is the church my spiritual life support? Is my personal faith in God just surviving because I go to all of these events and ministries? Is it like a respirator in a hospital that keeps me breathing, and I don't even use my own lungs anymore? Where is the depth and meaning in my own private time with God, where is the passion and purpose within my soul? Is my personal relationship with Jesus being killed by an unknown and hidden cancer?

I suspect that I am that dying man, lying in the hospital as the respirator pumps up and down while my heartbeat just barely keeps beeping. I suspect that church has made me dependant on this machine and I will struggle to live on my own without it. And I suspect that this is the case for a lot of other people in church these days...

7 comments:

Nick said...

Would that be an organizational dependency?

Abe said...

Funny how often when we begin not to value something we bury ourselves deeper in it to convince ourselves of its worth. I'm not saying that this is what is happening here necessarily, but I've seen it happen in churches before. The couple that starts to take on everything at church, the next year they reject church completely. Of course, this may also be because the more they get involved in church, the more they see what a bastardization it is of God's plan for the People of God declaring the Kingdome of God.

Lawyer Kid said...

Shouldn't the church be a measure of spiritual life support?

At least, "the church" in its true definition as "the body of Christ"?

Don't sell yourself too short, either.

Jamie A. Grant said...

I was referring to organizational dependancy, as Nick said. The local church building, programs, pastors, etc. I need it. Kicking the habit and not attending church on Sundays would give me the shakes, I think...

Lawyer Kid said...

However, that would not necessarily mean that church attendance on Sunday is negative. The two thoughts don't follow eachother.

Jamie A. Grant said...

Granted, lawyer kid, the two thoughts might not follow one another. In my case, though, I think it does. I'm not parsing this as a philosphical problem, I'm looking at it as a real-life issue for me. Not the theory, the effect.

And the local church ministries and the Sunday services seem to be a spiritual crutch for me. And I suspect that's true for many other people, as Abe suggested.

solnechko said...

I think you'll like it.
It's awesome that you and Cam will be doing the same stuff together. I think you'll learn a lot from just experiencing them together. As for the down time... i wish you courage, because when things get quiet, God gets introspective on us.
Hmmm... can i even say that? That God gets introspective? I think what I mean is that WE get introspective and see stuff on the inside that is not always easy to see. Have fun.