Let It Flow

The boss that fired us without cause, or the boss that always criticizes you. The brother that physically attacked you, or the sister that always mocks your choice of clothes. The father that left you, or the father that was around but never had a kind word for you. The mother that said she never wanted you, or the mother that won't leave you alone. The friend that gave away your precious secret to everyone, or the friend that always gets you to do something you don't want to do. The boyfriend that used you and left, or the girlfriend that just won't let go.

We have all had people like these in our lives. Sometimes we were badly hurt by a single black moment that we can't forget. Sometimes the person just eroded us slowly and wore away our identity until there was nothing left. Sometimes the person meant well and hurt us anyway, sometimes the person was selfish and cruel and spiteful. It may have happened while we still just kids, we may have been blind-sided as a teenager, or we may been burned as adults.

Sometimes the wounds were relatively minor and we just tried to deal with it. Sometimes these circumstances were terrifying and they tore apart our lives and our families.

And in response, we tried to find ways to cope. Fight or flight. We learned how to attack that mean person - and then anyone else that we saw as a threat. We use words to try and stab their hearts, or we are passive aggresive, or we yell and swear and threaten them. Or we learned to hide and concede and run. We never voice our own desires, we try to never offend or confront anyone, never make a decision and always let someone else lead.

And so the cycle continues. We inflict pain because pain was inflicted on us. We refuse to express our feelings because daddy never expressed his love to us. We ignore relational problems because we saw how our parents fought, but eventually we fight because of that. We vowed to never abandon our families, but we worked so hard to support our families that we were never home. We hated how helpless we felt when we were so young, so we gained control and now we make others feel helpless.

So much of who we are was formed by the choices of others. Our character is defined by how others behaved. The way we view life is built on what others told us was true. The way we see our future is through the lens of our past.

It doesn't have to be this way. We can change the pattern and create a new one, not by fighting against the infinite tide but by swimming in a new direction. We can find peace and bring light into those dark places. We can let God draw us close and caress us and love us in a way that no one else ever has. We can replace those insidious lies with amazing truth, with Jesus. We can break those chains and find freedom.

Healing and freedom and joy do not come because we are smart enough or strong enough or good enough. It comes when we give it all up. Give up trying to fix it, give up trying to fight everyone, give up trying to protect ourselves, give up running away.

We are made healthy again when we acknowledge that wound and we surrender our pain. It comes when we forgive and release that enemy of our soul and we hold on to our saviour instead. It comes when we let God show us what really happened, how he was there with us and cried with us, how he has walked with us each step of the way.

There is hope. There is life, real life. Like water waiting to burst from our spirits and into our souls, washing away all of the dirt and making everything grow again. Let it flow...