Resistance Is Futile

In the Star Trek universe, the Borg are a race of cyborgs that are intent on assimilating everyone else. They are linked with a collective consciousness which allows each individual to instantly work like one part of the larger machine, so it's like they share one mind. As they encounter new races, they conquer them and implant nanotechnology to make each new person a cyborg as well.

One of the main reasons that they are able to assimilate race after race is their defense mechanisms. Due to their extremely advanced technology and "hive mind," any new attack against them is immediately analyzed and the corresponding defensive act or technique is created. Their not completely impervious, as Picard has proved, but their incredible adaptability allows them to defeat almost anyone and enslave them as one more piece of the machine.

"Resistance is futile."

That's the approach that a lot of people use in real life. If there is an issue at work, or an argument with the family, or a friend does something that we do not appreciate, we act like the Borg.

We become impervious to questions, to debate, to doubt, to emotional pleas, to honest disagreement. If the other person screams, or is passive aggressive, or politely denies, or asks us to talk honestly for a while, we just zoom in for the attack as if nothing was said. We're fixated on this target of ours.

It doesn't matter what the goal is. Maybe we want a family member to complete a simple chore. Maybe we're feeling hurt about something else and our confidante wasn't reassuring enough. Maybe our friend insulted us and we demand an apology. Maybe we have an idea that we just learned and we want everyone to see how important it is. Maybe our employees are behind on their deadlines or quality control has decreased.

Regardless, we have learned plenty of tricks for getting our own way. Most classic, we resort to screaming and yelling or we our out tears to generate pity. We can either beat the person down with anger or manipulate them with guilt. However, we have plenty of subtle methods as well. As a boss, micromanagement and intensive reporting become our professional tricks. As a Christian, we pull out some choice Bible verses and whack people around. As a friend, we pull back and spread a little gossip around.

All of these acts are solely designed to get our own way. Our own selfish desires and emotions rule. We like to think that we're only acting for the greater good, for the benefit of the other person. We're not really being selfish because we're trying to help them and we're not getting any advantage at all. Or maybe it's just a quirk of personality and the other person should allow us to become enraged because it will all be forgotten ten minutes later. Maybe we're just acting in kind, returning insults for the curt words that we first received. Or maybe we're just being "honest" and that's why we're questioning the other person's motives and character. There are a million ways to justify ourselves.

All of those reasons do not matter, though. The underlying principle is that this goal of ours becomes more important to us than the person. We break through anything that the person can throw at us. We stick to our tried-and-true methods and we win. The other person capitulates eventually and bows to our will. They lose their identity and they become part of our collective.

And it's not really that bad because, in the end, we're right. When it's all been said and done, it pays off and we attain that crucial target of ours. The end justifies the means, of course.

And if that employee quits after a few months, we're mystified about how that happened. If that family member starts to get angry with us for no apparent reason when we ask a simple question, it's because they have some issues. If that friend backs off and we don't seem to have them around much anymore, it's because they're self-centred. If that church member stops attending, it's because they were immature and they don't really understand what the church represents and what the Bible teaches.

So we continually get our way. We're successful almost every time we try these little tricks of ours, so that means that we should keep on doing these things. And when the long-term effects kick in, we completely disconnect our actions with that result and we place the blame on the other person. We don't look for better ways to communicate or resolve conflicts or manage our employees. We just write it off and start the whole process all over again with a new person.

There are better ways. There are methods that bring a person alongside us instead of creating confrontations. There are management philosophies that achieve even better results and keep people in the company. There are words and there is body language that will help us communicate with family members. There are alternatives to raising our voice or resorting to emotional manipulation. We can move towards our goals without destroying the other person and without damaging our relationship.

It may require a little more effort and some more time. It may mean that we need to do some research and learn new techniques. We may need to tape our mouths shut metaphorically and force ourselves to really listen. We may need a mentor. It's possible, though. Our families can grow closer as a result, our depth of friendship can only deepen, our ministry at church can become more effective and our businesses can become more successful. It's possible.