Two Personality Traits Equals One

I once had a cat named Puff
Who would like you 'til she had enough
Aloof as she was
It was all good because
We could leave her and not worry 'bout stuff.

I once had a puppy named Mitzy
Compared to Puff she was friendly and frisky
Loving as she was
She had to leave 'cause
Dependent and needy is not easy.

So I had these two pets for many years. Puffy ruled the house and Mitzy knew not to mess with her. Puffy was a stereotypical cat and she would only pay attention to the lesser animals (the dog and the people) when she felt like it. She would enjoy it when we pet her or fed her but once she was satisfied she would ditch you without hesitation. On the plus side, it was easy to leave on extended trips and merely put a dish of food and water out for her. She could take care of herself just fine for up to two weeks without a problem. She lived to a bright old age of nineteen. (Link)

In contrast, Mitzy was the stereotypical dog. Friendly and affectionate, she would follow us wherever we went in the house. She loved to play and go for walks and would sleep in our beds at night. That being said, she was also a lot more work. She required two meals a day with regular feeding times and amounts. Feed her too much and she would pig out. We had to take her for regular walks and eventually we had to give her to my grandparents because I couldn't take care of her while I was living by myself at home and working full time. (Link)

Personality traits have two sides to them, they're double-edged swords. The very thing that we like about somebody can easily be the same thing that we do not like about them. The two parts may look different but they come from the same root. If we take away the annoying parts of a person, we would be surprised to find that we also took away the good parts at the same time. We can't carve out half of a person and take the parts we like and discard the rest. You're not left with half a person, you're left with only a shell.

Not that we should simply put up with annoying traits. Instead, we need to learn about the person and figure out why they behave certain ways in certain situations. We need to appreciate other people for who they are, not for some superficial picture that we have of them. A little understanding goes a long way.

As another example, Sam Cassell is one of the premier point guards in the NBA. He was a key free agent acquisition for the L.A. Clippers this past summer and he came just short of leading them to the third round of the current NBA playoffs. In fact, Steve Nash had to lead his Phoenix Suns to a rare comeback while down 3 games to 1 just to beat the Clippers. Sam has always been rather brash and outspoken, getting into people's faces and saying too many negative things in media interviews. That's why he is now on his seventh team and that's why teams were willing to let him go. The flip side is that he extremely competitive, confidant and passionate. The same traits that force him to move on are the traits that allowed him to lead the Clippers so far into the playoffs this year.

The one thing that many reporters observed about Cassell this year is that he seems to have matured in the way that he leads his team and the way that he interacts with his teammates and with the media. He hasn't lost his core attributes but he has gained the wisdom to soften the edges a bit. He and his team have gained the benefits of his personality (and his great skills) without being eroded by the negative aspects of it at the same time.

So I have two morals to these stories (or limericks). The first is that we need to understand and appreciate both sides of a person's personality traits. The second is that we can take this knowledge and apply it to ourselves, accentuating the positive pieces and softening the negative ones.

If you bothered to read this whole bit
And you wondered when I would quit
I just want to say
I can do this all day
I just hope you learned something from it!