Deconstructing Jamie

The past few months have been rather interesting for me. "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." Many of my plans and expectations have fallen to the wayside. A number of my ideas about life, love and Christianity have been torn down and are being rebuilt. It has been an interesting trip but it's been amazing to see God at work in my life and through my life regardless.

The following list just shows that various areas that I have been reconsidering and growing in. Some of these ideas are still quite fluid and flexible but it's a nice snapshot of where I am these days.

1. The Local Church
This would be the biggest area of theological change for me, influenced by the more drastic restructuring that my dad has been going through in this area. In summary, I'm fine with having formal local churches but I no longer think that such institutions are as helpful as we think, nor as necessary (or Biblical) as we assume. I won't go into much detail because I often describe this as a house of cards and once you take away one card, so many other things start to fall away.

2. Tithing
Funny enough, my dad was the one that always taught me the importance of tithing as a Biblical precept and now he's the one that disagrees with it. Tithing is so ingrained in Christian thought in my circles that many old-timers from Open Door church assumed it was held as a principle, even though Open Door actually disagrees with the 10% rule as a hard-and-fast requirement.

This may not seem like a big issue but I've been consistantly tithing ever since I had a newspaper route as a kid. I still look to give to God but I no longer assume a set amount and now I consider other ways of giving besides giving to my local church.

3. Hearing God's Voice
I have simultaneously become more attuned to the daily leading of the Holy Spirit while becoming more cynical when we talk that way. With many thanks to my friend J.P., I've been reading about Smith Wigglesworth and other such things, looking for God's random plans. I've also become much more skeptical when people reference some message from God when it comes to professional business, physical healings or dating relationships. It's a weird dichotomy for me.

4. Finding "The One"
Ah, dating relationships. Yes, I'm 29 years old and I do not have a girlfriend. It doesn't take a brainiac to figure out that this is an important issue for me. I used to be a major fan of Joshua Harris' books and I've recently had some interesting discussions with both guys and girls about this topic. I've always been pretty practical in my thinking and that has effected me here. Many thanks to my various friends for pushing me when I needed to be pushed and challenging my ideas when needed

5. Evolution
Yep, I now believe in evolution. And if that doesn't seem like a big deal then you're not aware of how long I have studied this area of science and how many debates I've had about it. Of course, my answer is a bit of a cop-out but that was still a struggle for me.

By nature, I'm an extremely habitual guy. I'm amazingly dependable and I can participate in some ministry or organization for years at a time without question. While I like to think that I'm a very open-minded guy and rather rational, I'm also fully aware of how thick-headed and obtuse I can be at times. The chains of religion can bind me in so many subtle ways, even as I declare that Christianity should be about "relationships and not religion."

I am grateful for my friends and family. I can only be so wise and clever and I keep those close relationships in order to smack some sense into me at regular intervals. And most importantly, I'm thankful that God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit love me, work in my life and direct me every day. I don't always see The Way clearly but I just keep trying to seek Him somehow.