Top 10 Reason For The Church Of You & Me
The important thing is not the forum, it's the one-on-one time with each other. You can both be involved in Alpha programs, or cell groups, or Bible studies, or be members of a local church congregation, or play on a band together, or do a soup kitchen ministry together. You can have a mutual friend or two that is equally import to both of you.
As long as those things never take precedance over your one-on-one time then it's all good and will hopefully serve to enhance your growth. As long as the forum does not become a requirement and a rule, the relationship can thrive regardless. So you don't have to be a member of a local church and you don't have to be involved in a ministry. However, you do need to have Christian and non-Christian relationships, and you do need to use your gifts and talents, and you do need to reach out to people. It's just that the format for these things is really, really flexible.
So here is my Top Ten list of the benfits of this "Church of You and Me..."
1. Everyone Needs a Friend
That's a simple truth. Everyone needs a friend and no one wants to feel like they're alone. Someone to laugh and cry with, someone that gives to us and one to whom we can give. There are so many people, of all ages, in all walks of life, inside and outside of the local church, that do not have that kind of close friendship. We all need a friend, and I'm always shocked at how many people don't even have one close friend.
2. No Restrictions on Leadership
Depending on your theological flavour, your personal beliefs and your Christian denomination, you may accept certain restrictions in a local church setting. Some churches will not allow women to teach or preach, some will not allow single men to become elders, some will not allow people without pastoral credentials to give a sermon. However, these restrictions don't even apply if you're simply being friends with someone. Any woman can be a friend to another woman and can mentor them. No credentials or formal training required, just be a friend.
3. Everyone Should Lead
This is the positive flip side of the point above. Not only are there no restrictions on simply developing good friendships, but everyone should do this. (BOCTAOE) All Christians, regardless of maturity and age, can always come alongside someone else. And whether or not you call yourself a mentor officially, this is always the way to grow as a leader and mature. And in my experience, the most dynmaic growth in our own lives comes when we are trying to help others grow.
4. The Body Grows
As my dad said in this post, bringing one friend to salvation every few years isn't too hard. It can be a family member, a coworker, a classmate, anyone that you hang with. And if we do this, the Christian body would grow far more quickly than the rate we now see in North America. (And as bonus, you can still be a member of a local church, you just can't expect the local church to do your ministry for you.)
5. Meet The Need
Since this is all based on friendship, you will hopefully know what is going on in the other person's life. You will know their struggles, whether it's physical or emotional or whatever. And as their friend, you want to help. That might mean kicking in a few bucks to help with school, or inviting them over for dinner. It's simple. You may not be able to meet every need directly by yourself but even then you'll be sure to stand with your friend and support them.
6. Meet The Needs
As an extension of the above point, it can be even easier to meet the needs of a wider circle of friends. So much of our money is normally devoted to tithing, paying the pastors and paying the monthly bills of the local church. If this same money is instead directed to people you know personally, or friends-of-friends, it multiplies it's effectiveness. Just do the math. Take the amount of money that ten people give to the local church in a year and give that directly to friends in need, and the results are tenfold. (To be fair, there are certain things a local church can do much more easily, like planning foreign missions trips or large-scale ministries, but even these I have seen done on an individual basis.)
7. Anywhere
If you live in a tiny town in northern Ontario and you can't afford to build a church and hire a pastor, that's fine since you're just looking to build Christian friendships. If you live in modern-day Russia or China and your local pastor is put into prison and your church congregation is persecuted, you can handle it because it's all based on one-on-one friendships anyway. If you're a missionary heading into a strange part of the world, it's fine if there is no one that speaks English and there is no church, because your goal is to find a friend and lead them to Christ. Friendships work anywhere and everywhere.
8. Anytime
What about the person that works constant night shifts? What about the mother of two infant kids? What about the student that has to go to school full time and has to work full time? No problem. Friends always make time for friends.
9. It's All About Me
Not to be arrogant or selfish, but we can always grow in ways that we need to grow. If we're struggling with something, or we're curious about something, or we want to experience something new, we can go ahead and focus on that. We don't have to listen to weekly sermons that may or may not have much to do with our lives, though we may still prefer to do that through the internet or in a Sunday service. Granted, we need to ensure that we have somebody speaking new things to us and challenging us, otherwise we can get stuck in a rut of always dealing with the same issues and never exploring new areas. The key here is that the ministry that we give and receive is uniquely personalized to us.
10. We're Already Doing It
The most unassuming reason for this is the fact that we're already doing it. Hopefully, we already have a desire for close friends and we already spend time on those friendships. The difference is that we now make this the priority and all of the other aspects of modern Christian life become secondary, which is often not the case these days for church members. Playing on the music team should be secondary to being there for a friend in need. Attending a Sunday service should be less important than coffee with a friend. If we can balance different things like that then good for us, no need to throw the baby out with the bathwater. The most important thing is that we always ensure that our friends are the most important part of our Christian lives.
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